Are You Scrolling to Escape Yourself?
Remember the old 80’s anti-drug commercial? The one with the frying egg? “This is your brain on drugs.” Well, we might need a redo: “This is your brain on social media.” The dopamine rush. The compulsive checking. The withdrawal when you try to stop. The panic when you’ve misplaced your fix.
Dr. Anna Lembke, a psychiatrist and addiction doc at Stanford, has been sounding the alarm about what she refers to as “digital drugs.” In this month’s NYT “The Interview,” she explains how our brains are being rewired by these digital dopamine dispensers, leaving us anxious, restless and unable to focus. We think we’re just scrolling or passing time. But the mindless numbing and zoning out is actually putting us at risk of addiction. “Digital drugs have us hooked.”
Numbing Out on Social
It’s no secret that rates of depression, anxiety and self-harm among young people have skyrocketed, tracking perfectly with the rise of social media. One of the most urgent reads on this topic is Jonathan Haidt’s The Anxious Generation. Haidt argues that young brains are especially susceptible to the addictive qualities of social media, and early exposure can have long-lasting negative impacts on mental health.
His research found that teens who spend more than three hours a day on social are at a higher risk for mental health struggles. And let’s be real—three hours is a low estimate for most.
Yet despite the siren calls against social media, all of us—both young and old—keep going back for more. Why? Because these platforms are engineered to keep us scrolling, liking and refreshing. It’s a constant loop of “Maybe the next post will make me feel better.” But it never does. Instead, we’re left drained, disconnected and wondering where the last two hours of our lives just went.
We may be drinking and smoking less. But instead of numbing out at the bar, we numb out on Instagram. Instead of chain-smoking, we chain-check notifications. The highs are smaller, but the cycle is the same: short-term relief, long-term damage.
Our Obsessive Self-Focus
Here’s the hard truth no one wants to consider: digital addiction isn’t just about boredom, habit or even the algorithm—it’s also about us.
Narcissism has been rising for decades, and social media is its perfect playground. We’re obsessed with self-improvement, self-expression and self-optimization. We post, tweak, filter and refresh—trying to shape an online version of ourselves that we hope will finally feel right. But it never does. And so we keep scrolling. Not to connect, not to learn—but to satisfy the deep need we have to get away from ourselves.
Lembke believes that, “we’re essentially struggling with endemic narcissism, where our culture is demanding that we focus on ourselves so much that what it’s creating is this deep need to escape ourselves. And I think that is what is driving much of our pursuit of intoxicants as a way to just not have to think about ourselves for a blessed, you know, hour or two.”
While also acknowledging that there are other factors contributing to addictions of all kinds, she asks, “What is it about our lives now that make us so desperate to essentially be intoxicated in one form or another? And I do think it is this obsessive self-focus.”
How to Keep Yourself in Check
Regardless of your technology habits, how can you avoid dysfunction? You don’t have to stop using your phone, but if you want your brain back and if you want to emulate a better way for your kids, here are some ideas to protect you from becoming lonelier, more anxious or depressed:
Time it. Set limits and actually follow them. Even cutting down by 30 minutes a day makes a difference. And don’t scroll at bedtime.
Delete the dopamine traps. Remove TikTok, Insta or whatever app sucks you in the hardest. Or at least move it off your home screen.
Create friction. Make it annoying to log in—log out after every use, turn off Face ID or switch your screen to grayscale.
Replace, don’t just remove. Your brain craves stimulation. Swap screen time for books, music or actual human interaction. Yes, this is hard.
Ask yourself why. Every time you reach for your phone, pause. Are you bored? Anxious? Lonely? The more you notice, the easier it gets to break the habit.
Try something new. The mindfulness exercise, Stop, Breathe, Be is a simple idea to help you pause and center yourself. Here's how it works:
Stop: Pause whatever you're doing and ground yourself by literally digging in your heels. Pay attention to the way your feet feel on the ground.
Breathe: Take a deep, mindful breath. Notice your breath as you inhale or exhale.
Be: Allow yourself to simply be in the present moment. Observe your thoughts and feelings without judgment. This takes practice.
Get Better at Being Present
At the end of the day, our relationship with technology is about us. The scrolling, the checking and the need to escape—it’s all a way to avoid something. Boredom. Restlessness. Ourselves. Maybe the answer isn’t another distraction or another dopamine hit. Maybe it’s learning to be okay in the quiet, to pay attention to our own thoughts and actions in a way that considers something outside of us. Because in a world that’s full of abundance and easy access, being fully present might just be the most radical thing we can do.