Get More Out of Therapy
Therapy is like going to the gym—except instead of pumping iron, you’re flexing your emotions. Sure, you can sit on the bench press and scroll your phone for an hour, but you won’t get any stronger. The same goes for therapy: you have to put in the effort to see real change. So, how do you maximize the benefits of your time on the emotional treadmill? Here are five strategies to help you get the most out of therapy. (Bonus: no heavy lifting required!)
Find the Right Therapist—It’s a Bit Like Dating
Let’s face it, finding the right therapist is like searching for your perfect avocado—sometimes it’s hard to know when you’ve found a good one, and nobody wants a bruised one. Your therapist should make you feel comfortable, heard and supported, but not so comfortable that you’re discussing your weekend plans more than your actual thoughts and feelings. Remember, therapy is about growth, and sometimes growth means having those tough, awkward conversations. Don’t be afraid to "shop around" until you find someone who really gets you (or at least your neuroses). Of note, a good therapist worth her salt should have the self-awareness to know when she is not a good fit.
Pro tip: Trust your gut. If it feels like a match after a couple of sessions, you're probably on the right track. If it feels like a first date where you’re counting the minutes until it ends, it might be time to swipe left.
Take Notes—Therapy Isn’t Vegas
What happens in therapy doesn’t have to stay in therapy. Sure, it’s tempting to leave all that deep emotional work in your therapist’s office and never think about it again—but if you want to see real progress, think about taking notes. Whether it’s a lightbulb moment, a tool for managing stress or just a new way to frame an old problem, jot it down.
Pro tip: Keep a therapy journal. It doesn’t have to be fancy—just a place to scribble down thoughts, feelings, or action items from your sessions. It’ll help you stay accountable and reflect on how far you’ve come.
Commit to Making Changes—You Can’t Just Vent Forever
Psychotherapist, Lori Gottlieb, says, “People come to therapy for insight, but they stay in therapy for action.” Sure, venting feels good, but eventually you’ll need to shift gears from "What’s wrong with me?" to "What can I do about it?" Therapy is a tool for change, and like any tool, it only works if you use it. So when your therapist offers suggestions—whether it’s a new coping skill, a thought exercise or even homework—try it. Actually try it. And keep trying it until it sticks.
Pro tip: Approach therapy with a growth mindset. Expect to be challenged and pushed outside your comfort zone—because that’s where the magic happens. Gotttlieb reminds us that, “Sometimes we are the cause of our difficulties. And if we can step out of our own way, something astonishing happens.”
Give Feedback—Therapists Aren’t Mind Readers
No your therapist can’t read your mind. If something isn’t working for you, say so. Whether a certain approach doesn’t resonate, or you’re feeling stuck, speak up. Therapy is a collaborative process, and it’s perfectly okay to let your therapist know if you need to shift gears. You’re not going to hurt their feelings by saying, “Hey, I’m not really vibing with that mindfulness exercise, can we try something else?” In fact, they’ll appreciate your honesty.
Pro tip: Think of therapy as a two-way street. While your therapist is guiding the process, you’re in the driver’s seat. Don’t be afraid to ask for what you need, whether it’s a new technique or just more time exploring a particular issue.
Be Consistent—Therapy Is a Marathon, Not a Sprint
Here’s the thing about therapy: it’s not an overnight miracle cure. It’s a process. Sometimes it’ll feel like you’re making breakthroughs left and right, and other times it’ll feel like you’re stuck in neutral. What matters is showing up—consistently. Regular sessions (even when you don’t feel like it) are key to long-term progress.
Pro tip: Stick with it, even when it gets hard. Especially when it gets hard. Therapy’s greatest benefits often come from those moments when you push through discomfort and embrace the work. Consistency builds momentum, and momentum is what creates lasting change.
Your Therapy Experience, Your Rules
Lastly, therapy is what you make of it. Whether you’re dealing with anxiety, navigating life changes, or just looking for better ways to cope, remember that the power of therapy lies in your hands. Be curious, be open and don’t be afraid to do the work. It might not always be easy, but trust me—future you will be glad you stuck with it.
Lemi Mental Health can help you get more out of therapy.